I think I sprung a leak

Over the last day or two I've noticed that when I blow my nose I can taste it.  I think that somehow my nose and mouth are still connected and there is a hole somewhere.  This goes back to when I thought liquids where still sneaking into my nose.  I thought I was crazy then, but maybe not.  I think I have a leak somewhere in there.  I go to the doctor tomorrow so hopefully I'll get some answers.

Ready to expand

I went on Wednesday and had the palate expander put in my mouth. I'm not a fan. I spent the first couple minutes trying to figure out how to swallow and in the end needed a tip from the girl in the office. slurp. I've gotten much better at swallowing though it still something that I sometimes have to pay attention to.

Talking has been another issue. I took off of work on Thursday but went in on Friday. I'm pretty self conscious about my speech, though it is steadily improving. Thursday I had to call tech support for my Tivo, then Cable, then Tivo again. I did manage to be understood.

I figure when I finally get this thing out I'll have finally mastered it.

I was taught how to expand it, but will not start expanding until after surgery on Tuesday. A couple teeth are a little sore from either the expander or from the bite being a little off. That will all change as I expand, I think and hope.

But a greater challenge has been that on and off all week I've had a cold threatening me. Earlier in the week I was just tired and a touch of sinus congesting, then I was feeling ok and the sinus congestion didn't seem as bad. I'll never know if I was actually getting better or just wishful thinking. Saturday I woke up with my ear bothering me from congestion. I've continued to baby myself hoping that this will all clear up. I'm feeling better today then yesterday but am quite concerned. On top of all of it I might be starving to death. The first 2 days I was having some real issues with eating, and although doing better I am still having issues which have left me eating less then I should be. Yesterday I really started to feel the affects of starvation. I seriously wonder how the people on Survivor survive with so little food. I've had headaches, fatigue, dizzy spells. I've been doing better at eating today.

Here's hoping I feel better tomorrow and the Doctor says I can continue with the surgery this week.

So exactly how much blood do they think I'll lose

The other day I got a nifty letter in the mail from Dr. S's office, it has all this info about my appts leading up to the surgery. It also recommends that I take an iron supplement for a month before the surgery. This could very well be a standard procedure since women do tend to have low iron counts, or it could mean I'm going to lose a lot of blood. Losing a lot of blood sounds much more dramatic, though hopefully it isn't true.

I did call my primary care physician regarding the iron because I have hemochromotosis, I absorb too much iron, but my iron levels are on the lower end right now. My doctor said it wouldn't hurt and so I'll be adding some iron to my diet soon.

I can't take the drama in my head

Years ago I took the Landmark Forum, part of Landmark Education. The short story is that it's a life improvement class, though that makes it sound really cheesy, it is much more then that. One of the lessons in it is about how your brain and mind are always thinking and talking to you. Too bad they don't tell you how to shut it up. They just tell you that it's stuff your mind makes up.

Well my mind wont stop talking and creating all this drama. I mentioned in my last post that I am considering staying at my parents house right after my surgery, and I'm 99% sure I'll do that, I just don't think I'll be able to handle icing my face that first day. I'm thinking this might end up being a good opportunity to listen to podcasts and cheesy movies I know every line to (but I wont mention any names). Today my Dad mentioned me staying for a couple days, WHAT, put the breaks on, who said a couple days? I was hoping to get out within 24 hours!

I'll have to admit that I personally don't enjoy spending large amounts of time with my parents simply because when they are together they fight non-stop. I can't deal with it... But also there is the whole, I'm sick I want my bed, and my couch and my stuff... I've been completely out of my house for 2 and a half years (mostly out for another 3 years before that.) It's my childhood home, but not my home. I love my little apartment, it's warm and fuzzy and has my stuff in it. That's where I want to be when I'm sick, even when I'm moaning I want my Mommy.

In the end I know I'll figure it out as I go and at some point I'll simply demand to go home, my Dad will comply and my Mom will probably yell at me. But in the meantime why can't I stop the fight in my head about how long I have to stay?

Stuff they don't put in the brochure

First, my wire on the bottom of my braces shifted last weekend so I was back at Dr. F's this week to have it moved back, it seems to be staying place now.

More importantly I was at Dr. S (Oral Surgeon) on Wednesday. The good news - my surgery is approved! The bad news, the stuff they don't say at the first consultation... I'm scheduled for late February. Dr. S went through his whole thing on how he cuts into my gums on the outside side of the teeth at the root line and cuts into the bones to break them - I'm almost adjusting to the concept of this though it's one of those things I think I would rather not know. After the surgery I'll apparently be very swollen and will have to ice my face all day and night and overnight. I'll be in pain for about 3 days, but I'll have pain killers for at night. I'll have to sleep upright the first night. The swelling will last 2-3 weeks and there may be some bruising. I'll start on a liquid diet the first day and then add foods over that next week, but mostly soup, and ice cream types of stuff. Ugh, this was not in the brochure!

I always knew I would be miserable, but this is sounding way worse then I thought. I'm actually considering going to either my parents house or my sisters house that first day and night. But I did place an order with mom for her homemade soup, I'm going to add an order of her apple sauce too. I'll make my own pea soup before hand.

A Memory

The other day I was thinking about children who are in the hospital for the holidays, and how sad it is to spend those special times in a hospital and how glad I was that I never had to do that as a child. Then I remembered that I actually had a surgery right before Halloween one year, not the same as Christmas, but as a 7 year old girl it wasn't really cool. If my memory serves me I had the surgery 2 or 3 days before Halloween and then was released a day or 2 before Halloween. My mom did buy me a little bunny thing with ears, not really a costume but it was all I go. I remember on Halloween wearing my bunny ears and answering the door for the 4 people who actually stopped at our house and really wanting to go out trick or treating and getting candy. I'm sure my mom gave me whatever candy and treats I wanted, she was always good like that, but it's not the same as getting dressed up and getting candy from strangers.